Home is where we feel comfortable or as the overused phrase goes, "where the heart is."
My wife and I recently moved into a new house (may 2005). Following the examples of some courageous salvationist, Major John and Marty Needham, Captains Geoff and Sandra Ryan, Captains Stephen Court and Danielle Strickland we were inspired to move into the heart of the city.
Frankly, I was scared to death. My perception of the inner city was that it was hostile to people like me. People like me? What do I mean? Middle class, white, suburban, best schools all my life, low crime...ect. I thought my mere presence in this area would provoke violence against me and my family.
Things were quiet for the summer and I started to feel a little comfortable there. I thought, "It may just not be that bad." Then in August, a new neighbor moved into our block. It was obvious by the foot traffick and gun shots that came with the new neighbor that this was a bad element in the neighborhood. It took three months but the police eventually caught on and the Highly trained drug task force officers arrested my new neighbor. We had a visitor in the middle of the night the night of the arrests that blocked my car in and came knocking on my back door.
I had taken a self defense class once and the instructor had told us that nothing good ever comes from behind. The guy was arrested on my property when he didn't have a good reason for being there.
All of my past fears kicked back up again. For two weeks we stayed out of the house. I read on Carole's web site that when she went to Eastern Europe she started praying, "Lord, Make this my home."
That thought has stayed with me. I began praying that prayer. I had been living in a house but I wanted it to be my home.
The other day my next door neighbor, a recent transfer from New Orleans came over and asked for prayer because her husband, an alchoholic had disappeared two days before with her truck. We prayed with her and a couple of days later he showed back up. She has taken him to the hospital for help (again). Then the next night my neighbor across the street, a single mom with five children who works outside the city, had her car repossessed at 4 am. She came and asked for a ride to the grocery store the next day. My dad was over and we were happy to take her.
And over the course of time I have begun to have a different perspective about the place where I sleep at night. I may not be an outsider. I am just one of them. My home is in a dangerous place. But it isn't just my house that is there. It is my heart and my neighbors. And I am thankful for the models of courage that have led me here.
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3 comments:
Ironically, when I got into so much trouble (10 years ago - can you believe?) I lived in the neighborhood where you live now. It was, of course, under completely different circumstances. I was comfortable. Despite being the only white girl in the neighborhood (that I knew of/saw), I was content living there. Not for the same reasons as you - I lived with my then boyfriend and his brothers and mother. A black family. The brothers were well known in the neighborhood and therefore I considered myself to be 'safe'. Although, back then I never really considered safety at all. What is my point? Well, now, in my current lifestyle I have lost all of my courage and inhibitions. I am fearful of where I drive and who I run into. Why? It's crazy. I used to stand on the corner of (then) Stewart Avenue to catch the bus. I used to hussle drugs with my boyfriend at the park. But now, having seen the other side, my past terrifies me. How pathetic am I? I think it is so commendable that you guys have chosen to live in a place where you may be considered the outsiders. Where you could live in a certain state of fear all the time, and yet you don't because you realize that we are all God's children. All the same in His eyes. I pray that you will continue to be God's witnesses and that maybe you can teach people like me a thing or two about courageouseness and acceptance.
"For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
EJ =)
Actually, Emma I would like to hear your stories about living in our neighborhood. I didn't know you lived here. Especially from a drug pushers side of thing. In fact, I just had an idea, as I was typing, and you don't have to answer this online, but I think we me you and kelly could perhaps use our different experiences to paint a picture of the experiences of drug life and how they impact people in our neighborhoods and maybe some of the best ways to minister in this environment. I would certainly love to hear some of the dynamics.
Sounds good - let's chat soon. I would love to contribute anything that may help in some way to turn people away from the lifestyle that I used to live.....
EJ
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